If you're like most separated or divorced parents in Louisiana, you've probably experienced that sinking feeling when a simple text about your child's soccer practice spirals into a heated argument with your ex. You're not alone. The vast majority of co-parenting conflicts don't start with major disagreements about parenting philosophies—they begin with misinterpreted tone in everyday messages, defensive reactions to perceived criticism, or bringing emotional baggage into what should be straightforward child-focused exchanges. As family law attorneys, we've seen countless co-parents struggle with communication breakdowns that ultimately hurt the people they love most: their children.
The Golden Rule: Keep Communications Child-Focused
The single most important principle in co-parenting communication is to keep all exchanges strictly about your child. Louisiana family courts consistently favor parents who demonstrate this ability
What to Include in Co-Parent Communications:
Information about your child's health, including medications, symptoms, or doctor's instructions
Educational updates, homework assignments, or school events
Schedule confirmations for pickups and drop-offs
Updates about your child's emotional well-being or behavioral changes
Information about extracurricular activities or special events
Necessary logistical details for your child's care
What to Exclude from Co-Parent Communications:
Personal grievances about the other parent
Rehashing relationship issues or past conflicts
Commentary on the other parent's personal life or choices
Financial disputes unrelated to specific child expenses
Emotional venting or accusations
Attempts to gather information about the other parent's household
Daily Communication Best Practices
1. Choose the Right Communication Method
OurFamilyWizard (OFW) is widely considered the optimal platform for co-parent communication in Louisiana:
Important Note: Courts do NOT actively monitor OFW as many believe, but all communications are preserved should they be needed in future proceedings
Attorneys can be granted access to monitor communications when necessary
The platform provides comprehensive documentation and features designed specifically for co-parenting
2. Maintain a Business-Like Tone
Treat every communication as if it might eventually be read in court:
Use a respectful, neutral tone
State facts without emotional commentary
Be clear, concise, and specific
Use "I" statements rather than accusatory "you" statements
Avoid sarcasm, all-caps, or excessive punctuation
3. Follow the "BIFF" Method
When responding to communications, especially difficult ones, follow the BIFF principle:
Brief: Keep messages short and to the point
Informative: Provide necessary facts without emotional commentary
Friendly: Maintain a cordial, professional tone
Firm: Be clear about what you're communicating without being argumentative
4.Document Appropriately
While avoiding excessive record-keeping that borders on surveillance:
Save important communications about medical and educational matters
Document agreed-upon schedule changes
Keep records of significant decisions made jointly
Note patterns of communication that affect your child's wellbeing
Handling Common Communication Challenges
When the Other Parent Veers Off-Topic
Politely redirect: "I'd like to focus our conversation on Emma's upcoming doctor's appointment."
Set boundaries: "I'm only available to discuss matters directly related to Tyler's care."
Use templates: "Thank you for your message. Regarding Jacob's school project, he will need..."
When Emotions Run High
Implement a waiting period before responding (typically 24 hours)
Draft responses but don't send immediately
Focus only on facts related to your child
Consider having a trusted friend review messages before sending
If necessary, have your attorney review particularly challenging communications
When to Consult Your Family Law Attorney
In some situations, it's crucial to consult with your family law attorney before responding to communications:
When facing accusations that could impact custody arrangements
Before responding to requests for significant changes to the parenting plan
When receiving threatening or harassing communications
If the other parent consistently violates court orders in their communications
When major decisions about education, healthcare, or relocation need to be discussed
If you're unsure how to respond to a message that could have legal implications
When communications have deteriorated to the point where court intervention may be necessary
How Moisant Law Firm Can Help
At Moisant Law Firm, we know that effective co-parenting communication is key to a peaceful custody arrangement. Our attorneys provide more than just legal representation we offer communication coaching, review messages before you send them, and help draft responses to difficult interactions. We also guide you in properly documenting exchanges for court and can monitor OurFamilyWizard communications when needed. Whether you're starting co-parenting or facing challenges, we equip you with the tools and legal support to maintain healthy boundaries while prioritizing your child’s well-being.
Call 504-317-1685 or email Samantha@moisantlaw.com
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